Zillas

Friendzillas

We all have them, the well-meaning and/or overly opinionated friends that just cannot help themselves, crosses the proverbial line, and becomes too much at times. When it comes to a wedding, this particular friend cannot help but insert their opinions and vision for your special day. In an article on Brides.com (August 2014), Amber Ray lists three kinds of Bridezillas: The Marriage Expert, The Critic and The Hot Mess(es). The titles are self-explanatory, so I will dive into The Hot Mess from the DJ aspect.

As a DJ, our goal and only purpose is to create the musical vision for your wedding day that you have always dreamed of, the full dance floor, the enjoyment of your guest and the special dances. The DJ is essential to keeping up the mood of the party and must be able to play to the audience while still staying within the music genres indicated by the host.

We take pride and work with our clients to learn the genres, specific artist(s) and songs they want for their celebration, what special moments should be captured with song and to which song and of course the emcee needs. Our client feedback becomes the outline and we build upon it. During the special day, it is common to receive song request from guest and as long as the music is within the genre and not listed on our client’s “do not play” list we are happy to try to accommodate.

With this shared, the Friendzilla perceives them self to know what is best for the celebration and is all too willing to tell the DJ how to do their craft. The Friendzilla will become loud, obnoxious and too often once drinking, nasty in effort to get their way.

We very recently had a Friendzilla who took to these tactics in a big way. This individual felt they knew better than the Bride and Groom and demanded a genre for the reception on the “do not play” list. While sharing with them the wishes for the host they became vulgar and verbally abusive. This particular nuisance could not refrain them self from repeat trips to the DJ area to demand their wants, and grew bolder including during the emcee and songs for the special dances. Literally, we had to stop the announcements of the dances to prevent the other guest from hearing the vulgarity of this individual bleeding through a mic; they were unfazed when we instructed them, “Trying to do the bridal dances”, and “you need to stop”. Of course, politeness does not work with them and the word no only fuels a Friendzilla; they are too self-absorbed to see it is not their day and not their celebration so they will try to recruit others to join their plight. Yes, as did this one.

A suggestion for keeping the Friendzilla from being a damper on your party, hire a wedding coordinator who can help manage the guests. If not a coordinator, ask a family member to be point person to assist in guest affairs for the day. This particular Friendzilla and their intoxicated recruit’s behavior would have been short lived and squashed by a coordinator or guest officiant.

See the Briedes.com article at https://www.brides.com/story/friendzillas-while-wedding-planning, published August 18, 2014

Trelawny Bullock

Communications Administrator & CFO

Groove Line Productions